If Christmas songs aren’t your thing, we suggest you turn around, because we’ve ranked this decade’s festive songs from best to worst. The last ten years have been a minefield of stars creating their own Christmas jingles but not all of them were welcomed with open arms.
From pop singers to television hosts, everyone wanted a slice of that holiday season but we wish someone was there to tell them ‘no’.
If you want the absolute tunes, stay for the first half but if you’re here to find out which songs have ruined everyone’s holidays then we apologise in advance for what you’re about to hear.
20. Kelly Clarkson – Underneath The Tree (2013) It’s cheery, it’s cosy, it’s Christmassy.
What else would you need for a Christmas tune beside Kelly’s great voice? Not only is the song quite modern, it still gives us the feels of old school festive classics.
19. Traveller – Christmas Eve at Kroger (2017) Traveller’s Christmas Eve at Kroger gets a special shoutout just because it’s not like traditional Christmas song.
It suddenly makes you feel nostalgic as it honours holiday rituals like watching Die Hard and hanging with cousins. Plus, a little bit of folk doesn’t hurt anyone, right?
18. Kanye West – Christmas In Harlem (2010) It’s Kanye, that’s all you need to know. Not only that, but it’s also a nice change to the usual bells jingling and reindeer’s sleighing. It’s Christmas but make it lit-mas.
17. Sia – Candy Cane Lane (2017) Sia’s voice is already phenomenal as it is, but add some Christmas cheer to it and we get a bop. The cute claymation video does help make everything a little better.
It features an even cuter claymation dog (which looks like a beaver) so it gets our approval.
16. The Jonas Brothers – Like It’s Christmas (2019) Who better to sing a festive song than three former Disney stars The Jonas Brothers?
They’re wearing Santa hats and they’re ready to celebrate, so we gotta give them a chance. We think Nick Jonas’ voice was meant for Christmas cheer.
15. Kate Bush & Stephen Fry – 50 Words For Snow (2011) Literally just the comedian softly naming synonyms of snow, so how could anyone complain?
It has everything a British Christmas song needs: Stephen Fry, Kate Bush, listing names, and monotonous tones. We don’t know why the song was necessary but we recommend using it instead of your white noise machine.
14. Michael Buble – White Christmas (2011).
We think it might be illegal for us not to include Michael Buble in every Christmas list ever, so here you go. He doesn’t wake up from hibernation every December to be disrespected on festive rankings.
Furthermore, White Christmas deserves more recognition purely for Shania Twain’s involvement in the whole thing.
13. Ariana Grande – Santa Tell Me (2014) It had to be done. Ariana Grande has released a gazillion festive songs so one of them had to make it to our list. It just happens to be Santa Tell Me.
It’s not amazing, but it ain’t bad either.
12. Kacey Musgraves ft. Willie Nelson – A Willie Nice Christmas (2016) Sue us, the song’s adorable. Ukelele? Check? Kacey looking stunning? Check? A random Willie Nelson feature? Check. Take it or leave it, folks, but it sure makes us feel like we’re having the holidays at the beach.
11. DeJ Loaf ft. Kodak Black – All I Want For Christmas (2016) We feel the judgement piercing through our screens but DeJ Loaf deserves this spot! If Kanye can make a hip-hop song, why can’t she make an R&B one?
However, as Kodak Black is in it, you can see why it’s at an 11 and not a 20.
10. Blackpink’s Rose – The Christmas Song (2019) Rose covered Nat King Cole’s The Christmas Song, which is extremely hard to live up to. It’s Nat King Cole after all. However, it’s at number 10 as it’s not pure evil either.
Rose does have a lovely voice and made the song a little more modern, but it’s just not for us.
9. Jeremih & Chance The Rapper – Merry Christmas Lil’ Mama (2017) Now, Jeremih is known for his raunchy bedroom songs, so what on earth is he doing making Christmas music?
Think of the children, Jeremih! Lyrics include: ‘All I want for Christmas is some pretty b*tches/ With some tig ole bitties, Santa is you f***in’ with me?’ So take what you will from that.
8. Mabel – Loneliest Time Of Year (2019)
What can we say? The song just isn’t memorable. Nothing new nor mindblowing, but Mabel has a beautiful singing voice so we’ll give her credit for that.
Plus, she looks phenomenal in the video.
7. Gucci Mane – Jingle Bales (2019) We’re not surprised by Gucci Mane rapping in a robe surrounded by beautiful women. We are just disappointed he had to make it Christmas-themed. Oh, Gucci.
6. Justin Bieber – Mistletoe (2011) Sorry, Justin, but your song had to go somewhere. Any retail worker can tell you hearing his younger voice 50 times a day is not so pleasant, even if it is under the mistletoe. It’s super Christmassy but get it away from us.
5. Taylor Swift – Christmas Tree Farm (2019) She sings: ‘In my heart is a Christmas tree farm/ Where the people would come/ To dance under sparkling lights’.
Where on this sweet, forsaken earth is she going to find people dancing at a Christmas farm? If you found out where it is, let us know so we never go.
4. Fetty Wap feat. Monty – Merry Xmas (2015) Thanks for the Christmas song, Fetty, but does it come with a gift receipt? Christmas, but make it trap, we guess. As Fetty always says: ‘Yaaaah, baby.’
3. Rae Sremmurd – Christmas at Swae’s (2018) This song is the definition of chaotic evil. We don’t know what’s going on and we don’t want to know.
2. Duck Dynasty (The Robertsons) – Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy (2013) Most people don’t really sit down for Christmas dinner and put on their best Duck Dynasty records, and we hope no one ever starts.
Having The Robertsons sing a festive song is bad enough, but covering a Buck Owens song so no one can listen to the original ever again? Evil.
1. Lady Gaga – Christmas Tree (2008) Sweet mother of Gaga, why? We know, we know. It’s not from this decade but it’s so bad it transfers into this decade. Just…
just listen to the song, everyone. If you enjoy it, then we’re assuming you’re too far gone. Nothing can save you now.