My Relationship Experience by Pastor Nathaniel Bassey
Posted by GerohPaul
I have shared the story of one of the toughest times I experienced. However, one which led to meeting my wonderful wife. I hope these tips help you if you are in a similar situation. A Heartbreak can become one of the most powerful forces of change in your life. I got a call from my ex saying “This Thing is over.” Now, this was tough especially coming from someone I thought could worship the very ground I walk on. At least so I thought. I never felt a pain that sore in my whole life. I mean, I’ve lost some loved ones, but this pain was in a class of its own. All efforts to get her to talk failed.
So I prayed and was convinced I had to move on. So I went through the following process.
- I made sure I experienced healing in GOD’s presence. You see, many times people don’t get healed before they jump into another relationship. I made up my mind not to use someone as my temporal pain reliever. So I spent time Worshipping, and just shedding the tears before my Father in heaven. Then I was led to listen to some sermons which spoke to my situation. This process led to the next.
- The more I spent time with God, The easier it was to FORGIVE! People! You’ve got to FOOOOORRRRGIVE. This isn’t just for your “heartbreaker.” It’s more for YOU! You will definitely hurt someone if you jump into another relationship without experiencing and giving forgiveness.
- Get lost in GOD. In fellowship and His Service. Make the Holy Spirit your lover, friend, and companion. Let Him shed His love abroad in your heart. Serve God. Get busy for God that you can’t even remember anything RELATIONSHIP (with the opposite sex ), of course until God says it’s time.
- Then as you begin to sense God stirring your heart in the direction of a relationship, do an objective appraisal of your life. I said to myself, “Nath? Sentiments apart, the way your life was, would you marry YOU? It’s very easy to get upset and bitter when such happens, but we never really sit down to ask ourselves why? I began to see areas of my life that needed upgrades, spiritual, physical, personal development, ministry, character, and overall vision as a young man.
- I wish I can shout this from a rooftop. PLS DON’T TRY TO PROVE ANY POINT TO YOUR EX. If you have thoroughly gone through levels 1-4, The Holy Spirit would have done so much work of transformation within you. And while in the stage of appraising your life and ready to make adjustments and upgrades, it would never be to prove a point to your ex
or people. Many have made hasty decisions in the flesh including making bad marriage choices, career, business, relocation choices etc all because they wanted to prove they too can “marry” and be successful. If you truly yield to God’s work, you will come out with one attitude, GRATITUDE! And as David said, it was good that I suffered…” Psalm 119:71.
- This is important… So you can move on and begin a fresh start, BREAK TIES and contact with the Ex, if possible.
This is not malice. But this is perhaps for the time being so you can really put closure on things. A time will come when you are able to relate without any sort of attachments and emotional ties. Many wonder why they can’t seem to move on, and when you look, you find certain connections still active. Messaging on social media etc.
- When you begin sensing a leading into another relationship this is what you should do, PRAY. When you meet someone and begin having feelings for them, that is not a green light for another relationship. That feeling says to you IT’S TIME TO PRAY. Remember feelings are also internal chemical reactions. And trust me, if you went through what I went through, you don’t ever want to enter casually next time.
- And when you meet that right person and see what you went through and what God has done, you’d give him a praise break. You also won’t compare this new person with the other. Because you have been HEALED, FREE & GROWN. And if the heartbreak was a terrible one, the kind that could be described as evil done you, you would come out feeling Compassion for the other person, rather than Bitterness. And just to add, one way to forgive also, is PRAYING for the other person. It’s tough, but a mystery that works miracles.
In additional conclusion by GerohPaul,
So next time you get into a heartbreak, just know that the situation is not permanent and you will eventually come over it.
Overcome your fears and take up some confidence.
Believing in yourself goes a long way in your healing process. Just close your eyes and assume that you never met this person. Then go deep in your heart, make some promises to yourself, register a deep need to take care of yourself and thank God that now you know better.
When all is said and done – go ahead and explore the new things that you can do.
Find things that make you happy. Meet new people and create new endeavours. This time be careful on who you let in your heart and do things differently this time round.
You are a blessed kid and you deserve some true love.
Don’t be too fast to jump in another relationship, remain your own self-lover for sometime and treat yourself right.
See you in the next article